In Defense of Heavy Metal and Crowdfunding: Again We Bang Our Heads in Disagreement

Metal heads are a fickle lot. If there’s one thing we all know how to do well it is voice our opinions loudly in the hope that everyone around us will bend to our indomitable will. Whether we’re arguing the finer points of King Diamond’s “Abigail” versus “Them” or who can spew the most facts about how many band members a group had (reciting their names verbatim in chronological order). As newer trends rise within music and in the technological world around us, more arguments from within the scene rear their ugly ten-horned, seven heads like some monstrous dragon from a fantasy novel about a resurrected dead guy and whores. Lots and lots of whores... Anyhoo, crowdfunding is our latest pariah and boy are there a lot of strong opinions…and whores!

Let’s start off with what crowdfunding actually is for those who have heard the term, said it was stupid, then wandered away and listened to their bootlegged digital copy of Old Funeral. According to Wikipedia (it never lies…NEVER) it is “…is the collection of finance from backers—the ‘crowd’—to fund an initiative and usually occurs on Internet platforms.” So basically you ask for money from friends, family, and strangers with the hope that a certain monetary goal is reached in order to record, master, print, and distribute music. Some bands utilize crowdfunding for other purposes such as paying for a new tour van…

Or help finance tours which they otherwise could not have afforded.

What makes asking for cash through websites like Indiegogo or Kickstarter stick in people’s craws and make their stainless steel undergarments chafe? Is it because the platforms are gaining popularity and make the discussion between investor and investee impersonal? Perhaps these platforms have become intermediaries in an arena where do-it-yourself (DIY) truly meant cutting that third party out? Why is it that now, when the technology is there, in place, and proven successful are Hessians being such sticklers about asking for money? Even though online crowdfunding sources charge a percentage of what is raised, is it really that much different from asking your friends, family, strangers, or maybe even applying for a bank loan to help you out? Did you notice this entire paragraph is made up entirely of questions? Cool, huh?

Like a public corporation, a potential downside for the lazy musician in all of us is that crowdfunding holds a band responsible for releasing a product on time in order to satisfy its investors. Because that’s what the people who are contributing to your art are and they want to see a return on that investment. Not necessarily monetary but a finished product would be nice. Now that may sound intimidating to many musicians out there. Deadlines can be scary and goals…holy hell, goals are the worst! What successful artist ever made goals and stuck to them?

Believe it or not, there are a lot of bands who aren’t on labels or have mass distribution. Most labels nowadays do not support their roster as they did back before the Interwebs so artists have to be flexible and adjust with the times (unlike the record companies). With the increase in DIY recording and being able to make an album sound professional from the comforts of home, recording costs have been halved or taken out of the equation almost entirely. The real costs come with album art and design, what kind of media the music is printed on (vinyl, cd, etc…), distribution, and promotion.

Los Angeles-based Cobra Venom is one of many examples of a DIY band with no label support who exceeded their modest financial goals (twice) using crowdfunding. They released two projects and delivered what they promised to their fans. Black/Thrash band Vrawsche exceeded their goal as well, released an album, and even donated a portion of the additional funds back into their community. Why are these success stories horrific to Hessian purists? Is crowdfunding another version of “selling out” to Luddite metal heads? These bands made it clear to anybody who contributed money to their projects what they would receive based on donation level. Nothing else. Nada. This isn’t some Washington D.C. fundraiser where the rich press hands with other rich people and garner favors and back door deals. It’s about supporting music, not egos.

Like any other investment opportunity in the real world, crowdfunding can be risky and there are a few bad apples. If you donate $10 to a campaign, were guaranteed a copy of the music, and the band doesn’t deliver, you’re out $10. It will piss you off and you’ll stew and curse and wish you could have spent that $10 on a twelver of Natty Light or something equally exotic. But the cost to the band is greater. Pissing off your entire fan base and cheating them out of money is not exactly the best way to keep your musical project going (see Blake Judd).

In the end though, it’s really about the fans of the music. We constantly hear the battle cry of “support your scene” and “support this band” but when it comes to actually opening up wallets and putting money where our mouths are, the Bitch Fest Bonanza™ erupts. Crowdfunding is not a demonic technology used to pilfer your hard-earned money and funnel into a black hole of lost artistic integrity. You are getting new music or seeing a tour that you helped finance. You helped contribute to a successful project and have helped a band you enjoy listening to achieve success. Some call it begging, some call it charity, but what if…hear me out…what if crowdfunding is actually investing in the future of a band no matter if they are DIY or Obituary? Imagine that. Supporting your favorite bands directly instead of indirectly. What a concept.

NAMM 2013 (Revisted)

When Abominator first asked me to write up something short for NAMM, several thoughts immediately crossed my mind. First, why should I write about an organization known for molesting boys? I’m not a priest or a gym teacher and my Corpsemolester past involved molesting grown adult, female corpses. I have SOME morals for fuck’s sake! My second thought was that maybe I had misread his email so I went back and checked and yes, apparently I did.

The National Association of Music Merchants (NAMM) took place from January 24th to the 27th in the Year of our Corpse 2013. It was a rousing adventure that featured people dressed like pirates, Batman, and all manner of comic book, television, and movie characters. But mostly Batman.

EDIT: Okay, after some research, apparently that wasn’t NAMM but Comic Con and that took place last summer.

I remember NAMM now. I drank a LOT of beer but that usually happens wherever I go. There were several things that stuck out for me at this large musicians expo. First were the excellent selections of custom made harps and ukuleles. Did you know plastic ukuleles can sell for upwards of $700? I saw one with a price tag of $1000 but that one was made of wood strips peeled off of real wood from construction sites. The harps were amazing and I strummed one just to say that I played a harp and have bragging rights. IN YOUR FACE, THORGRIMM!

Other highlights included getting elbowed by Kerry King as he made his way to the flute section. At least that’s where I assumed he was heading. I also lined up at the Electro-Voice Pro Audio booth because rumor had it they were giving away free mugs and beer. The rumors turned out to be true even though the beer being served was fucking Heineken! I lost my mug by the way. I hung out at the Boss Printing booth with the Gravehill gang. We took silly pictures and signed dozens upon dozens of headshots for our next album (no one wanted any so we now have 200 autographed headshots taking up space). CC and I were getting the shakes again so we walked around looking for the shortest beer lines. I saw a short line with three people and waited for about 5 minutes but it turned out to be the line for ice cream. I then cried at my lack of beer and ate my cone while sobbing quietly.

RIP free mug wherever you are. :(

While I explored the various showcases from Spector guitars, Fernandez, and the abandoned ghost town that was BC Rich (did anyone run into a rep from these guys??), the final highlight of my NAMM adventure happened. Walking down the main thoroughfare was none other than Stevie Wonder! I raised my beer to him and shouted “PART TIME LOVER RULES” and then I was shoved out of the way by one of his security. 

I had the best badge ever.