Campaign for Death Metal Purity 2010: San Francisco...we almost missed you!

We all converge on a Denny’s in Portland around 9:30 AM but the restaurant is packed and we have no time to wait around. It’s decided to just head out on the road because we want to get into San Fran at a decent time.

Thorgrimm, Abominator, and I pile into the packed SUV and the rest of the guys cram into the van. From the looks of it, this trip is going to be very uncomfortable for everyone.

I sit in the front seat trying to play navigator with the GPS as Thorgrimm handles driving duties. But Portland is fucking all of us. There are so many one way streets, dead ends, and closed off streets due to July 4th festivities, that we get lost several times. It takes us over an hour just to get out of the city.

We find a Denny’s several hours outside of Portland and it’s decided that stopping to eat is the plan. Bodybag and I chill inside the Denny’s waiting for a table while everyone else is outside. Two older lovely ladies come in, sit on a bench, and immediately start hitting on us saying they love our long hair. Bodybag is immediately drawn to them because of their unwashed, oily hair and faded four-leaf clover tattoos on their wrists that should be green but have devolved into a fungal-colored abomination. But then the truth comes out that they really like Carl (the guitarist of Hod) so we let him know as the two ladies snort and giggle like horses. Carl’s not interested.

The SUV has some minor trailer trouble so we pull over at a gas station and get our resident mechanic and overall tool, Bodybag to look at the loose wheel fenders. He retools some things, tightens others, applies silicon and other crap and affirms that the fenders are secure. Good enough! We head out again.

I begin to worry because we have a serious lack of time issue. I mention it to Thorgrimm which gets him to start worrying. Thorgrimm freaking out is not fun to be around, but I figured I should bring the subject up on whether we would actually make the San Francisco gig. It takes us too long to get out of Oregon and we are just entering Northern California late in the afternoon. We still have several hundred miles to get to San Francisco and the sun is already beginning to set.

I take over driving duties in Northern California and try to make up some time once we’re out of the mountains. We hit speeds of 85-90 mph on the I-5 south which probably isn’t too wise with a driver who’s inexperienced at pulling a trailer. Fuck it; we are determined to make it.

Thorgrimm has finally found the San Francisco promoter’s number and informs him of the situation. The promoter doesn’t seem too disturbed by the situation and keeps a cool head. He tells us to keep up the speed and we’ll make it.

Neil from Fatalist is calling Thorgrimm consistently. Fatalist has been at the venue for several hours and they are freaking out that the rest of us aren’t there yet.

We arrive in San Francisco and pull up to the venue (Thee Parkside) with only minutes to spare! Another three minutes and the show would have been shut down! Fans and friends who have been waiting at the venue help us unload quickly. Fatalist sets up and starts their set within ten minutes of our arrival. We all agree to play limited sets and cut songs due the lack of time. The door and sound guys are very fucking cool. Apparently they’ve all seen Gravehill play Frisco in the past and are really looking forward to seeing us play again. They even ask if we are going to bother putting on the armor and blood because of the time crunch. We tell them that we are getting decked out no matter what and several “fuck yeahs” are heard. Or “fuck yous”. My hearing is pretty much shot.

Several friends of mine show up in San Fran and it’s cool to see them. Unfortunately I barely have any time to hang out and chat and I feel like an ass. I apologize for not hanging out more but they understand.

The transition from each band is almost flawless since we’re all using the same backline. Cardiac Arrest goes on after Fatalist and slays, then Hod immediately starts setting up. Hod delays a little because Beer has to take a shit. Luckily it seems he must have cut his poop short and wiped deep cause less than a minute later, Beer emerges from the bathroom and they proceed to rumble.

Though the crowd sports maybe only 30 people, they are die hard Hessians that love metal and purposefully stayed around to watch us play. As we rage through our shortened set, the countdown is on. 15 minutes until the power to the stage is turned off. 10 minutes...5 minutes... It looks like we have to play an even more abbreviated set. But after the countdown ends, people are yelling for one more song and the stage manager comes up and tells us to just fucking play. This rules. We jam through two more songs and end the night with a bang. The patience of the promoter and the people who work at Thee Parkside just really rocks and I’m grateful they even let us play seeing as how late we were.

The work doesn’t stop there though. I strip off my armor and immediately begin breaking my gear down and hauling it outside. I open the trailer and again, Dennis, Thorgrimm, and I start to load shit up. I’m exhausted and I finally convince someone else to take my place in the trailer so that I can catch a breather for once and give my back a rest. I begin to see a pattern though of those who are helping to load up and those not even willing to get near the trailer. I’m very aggravated about that and this is only day two of the tour. Hellfiend is aggravated himself about being cooped up in the van and so room is made for him to join Thorgrimm, Abominator, and me in the SUV. We take off immediately for Los Angeles while the van stays behind and the rest of the guys crash at a local’s pad.

Note: There was some more shit I added to this that was quite humorous but fucking "blogger" decided I was using some stupid html code and nothing was saved. Technology is awesome.

Campaign for Death Metal Purity 2010: In the Beginning...

As I sit here in the confines of my sweltering office in California, I’m overcome by
exhaustion, excitement, disappointment, exhilaration, and other adjectives that describe
my various emotional states after the official end to the Campaign for Death Metal Purity
2010. The experience was fraught with ups and downs, lefts and rights, and left hooks we never saw coming. So here I sit, with an ass load of notes and pictures and now you will witness my attempt to put this whole tour into a somewhat cohesive narrative.

In the beginning, the idea for this tour started earlier in the year shortly after Gravehill
ravaged Texas in February with Ibex Moon label mates, Hod. That’s all I know about
how this soon to be do-it-yourself (DIY) tour began. I’m just a bass player so I’m never
in the loop until someone needs money, hookers, or bags of flour. Mostly money
though. All that I know is that I was told in March we would be doing this thing and to
prepare. I follow orders very well.


As the months wore on and the time drew near to prepare for this adventurous outing, logistical issues had to be worked out. Trailers, flight arrangements, who are we staying with in what state, etc... It was a lot of work that probably prematurely aged all of us by a couple of years. Thorgrimm took the brunt of this organizational nightmare from the Gravehill camp and he looks like an 80 year old man now. At least he has all of his teeth.

Fliers were created, shirts were made, and word on the street was starting to spread. Blabbermouth ran the announcement of the upcoming tour (with the accompanying Internet nerds talking shit) and all seemed to be going according to plan. Until one fateful day only two weeks before embarking on the tour I received a rather disconcerting call from Thorgrimm. Below is a transcription:

Thorgrimm: Dude, the tour’s canceled.
Me: Hahaha, yeah right.
Thorgrimm: ...
Me: Fuck.

Tour support from the label evaporated into the air for some reason. The money we were expecting for rentals and everything else vanished. I was furious. I left my office and walked around in the parking lot fuming. After kicking a puppy into oncoming traffic, I felt a little better and talked with Thorgrimm again. I decided to go into debt and finance Gravehill’s expenses from my own pocket. Yes, I’m an idiot. But after all the hype we put into this thing, to cancel it at the last minute was unacceptable. I had met people throughout the country that were anxious to see us, Cardiac Arrest, and Hod and I felt that we had an obligation to follow through with the tour. Tom from Cardiac Arrest fronted the money for a van, while Hod’s drummer Dennis used that money to cover the expense on his credit card. We all took a hit financially.

Things had fallen apart, but they were coming back together.

Gravehill's only option was to use Thorgrimm’s personal vehicle which is a full-size SUV (With a hemi!! Whatever that is...). It was the only vehicle available that could pull a trailer as rental companies in our state are really bitchy about their van rentals, tow packages, and such (i.e. they don't allow it). I spent my own money to give the vehicle an overhaul. Everything was checked top to bottom and if a part even looked slightly worn, it was replaced. The SUV was running top notch and could hold five people so it was perfect for Gravehill. We rented a trailer on the cheap from a local friend and bought a tow package. It wasn’t a pretty trailer but it would suffice for what we needed it for. I tried to insist on stocking it with blow and maybe a dead hooker or two but everyone poopooed that idea cause we "needed the room" for important stuff. Whatevs.

Thursday, July 1st rolled around rather quickly. Gravehill met up at the practice studio in Orange, California, loaded my bass cabinet and rack, Bodybag’s guitar cabs, instruments, and personal baggage and took off. Well, most of Gravehill. I actually had a plane ticket to fly into Portland, Oregon so I would miss the first leg of the trip with the guys.

Stay tuned for the on-the-road adventures as told through the eyes of a true idiot...ME!

Campaign for Death Metal Purity 2010: In the Beginning...

As I sit here in the confines of my sweltering office in California, I’m overcome by
exhaustion, excitement, disappointment, exhilaration, and other adjectives that describe
my various emotional states after the official end to the Campaign for Death Metal Purity
2010. The experience was fraught with ups and downs, lefts and rights, and left hooks we never saw coming. So here I sit, with an ass load of notes and pictures and now you will witness my attempt to put this whole tour into a somewhat cohesive narrative.

In the beginning, the idea for this tour started earlier in the year shortly after Gravehill
ravaged Texas in February with Ibex Moon label mates, Hod. That’s all I know about
how this soon to be do-it-yourself (DIY) tour began. I’m just a bass player so I’m never
in the loop until someone needs money, hookers, or bags of flour. Mostly money
though. All that I know is that I was told in March we would be doing this thing and to
prepare. I follow orders very well.


As the months wore on and the time drew near to prepare for this adventurous outing, logistical issues had to be worked out. Trailers, flight arrangements, who are we staying with in what state, etc... It was a lot of work that probably prematurely aged all of us by a couple of years. Thorgrimm took the brunt of this organizational nightmare from the Gravehill camp and he looks like an 80 year old man now. At least he has all of his teeth.

Fliers were created, shirts were made, and word on the street was starting to spread. Blabbermouth ran the announcement of the upcoming tour (with the accompanying Internet nerds talking shit) and all seemed to be going according to plan. Until one fateful day only two weeks before embarking on the tour I received a rather disconcerting call from Thorgrimm. Below is a transcription:

Thorgrimm: Dude, the tour’s canceled.
Me: Hahaha, yeah right.
Thorgrimm: ...
Me: Fuck.

Tour support from the label evaporated into the air for some reason. The money we were expecting for rentals and everything else vanished. I was furious. I left my office and walked around in the parking lot fuming. After kicking a puppy into oncoming traffic, I felt a little better and talked with Thorgrimm again. I decided to go into debt and finance Gravehill’s expenses from my own pocket. Yes, I’m an idiot. But after all the hype we put into this thing, to cancel it at the last minute was unacceptable. I had met people throughout the country that were anxious to see us, Cardiac Arrest, and Hod and I felt that we had an obligation to follow through with the tour. Tom from Cardiac Arrest fronted the money for a van, while Hod’s drummer Dennis used that money to cover the expense on his credit card. We all took a hit financially.

Things had fallen apart, but they were coming back together.

Gravehill's only option was to use Thorgrimm’s personal vehicle which is a full-size SUV (With a hemi!! Whatever that is...). It was the only vehicle available that could pull a trailer as rental companies in our state are really bitchy about their van rentals, tow packages, and such (i.e. they don't allow it). I spent my own money to give the vehicle an overhaul. Everything was checked top to bottom and if a part even looked slightly worn, it was replaced. The SUV was running top notch and could hold five people so it was perfect for Gravehill. We rented a trailer on the cheap from a local friend and bought a tow package. It wasn’t a pretty trailer but it would suffice for what we needed it for. I tried to insist on stocking it with blow and maybe a dead hooker or two but everyone poopooed that idea cause we "needed the room" for important stuff. Whatevs.

Thursday, July 1st rolled around rather quickly. Gravehill met up at the practice studio in Orange, California, loaded my bass cabinet and rack, Bodybag’s guitar cabs, instruments, and personal baggage and took off. Well, most of Gravehill. I actually had a plane ticket to fly into Portland, Oregon so I would miss the first leg of the trip with the guys.

Stay tuned for the on-the-road adventures as told through the eyes of a true idiot...ME!