Stuff White People Like

"Stuff White People Like" (I didn't write this shit, but I think it's funny.)

Rock Climbing

For much of human history, when a human being saw a mountain in front of them, their reaction was, "Damn, I wish this mountain wasn't here. Why can't someone just blow a hole through this?" One day, after many roads and tunnels had been constructed, a white person thought to himself, "You know what? I'm going to climb this, look around, then climb back down. The view from the top will be worth risking my life." And rock climbing was born.

The appeal of the sport has grown in recent years, as cities and college campuses have opened indoor rock-climbing facilities. Now urban white people can experience all the thrill of climbing up something, looking around, and then climbing back down - which is the only goal of rock climbing - without having to take a long drive. There is no gold at the top of the mountain, no secret lair, not even a snack bar. The only reward is self-satisfaction and the opportunity to say, "Dude, crazy weekend. We did the summit of {insert mountain name}. It was intense. Me and a few buddies are planning a trip to Peru to climb."


Red Hair

White people with red hair are one of the rarest types of white people that you can encounter. Their hair color was created by a northern European mutation that will likely be extinct in the next hundred years. Enjoy them while you can!

The role that red hair plays in white culture is not necessarily essential to understanding white people, but it is helpful. White people associate red hair with Irish roots, allowing redheads to constantly remind others that they have an "ethnic" heritage.

Many white women are envious of red hair and will dye or declare that they want to dye their hair some shade of red. This is because red hair is seen as both natural and less mainstream, thus giving it two very desirable properties.